


you’ll always be my girl (across time and space and post-apocalyptic worlds)

by betteronpaper



Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV), The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, I dont really know, Maybe - Freeform, Rating May Change, Soulmates, elyza lex saving the day and being an easy smile and flirty ass, i guess, idk - Freeform, kinda slow burn, look there isn't any real 'plot' beyond lexark okay, meetings, not yet anyway, or will be, sublte subtle reincarnations tones, will get heavy in characterisation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-24
Packaged: 2018-05-26 11:10:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6236338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/betteronpaper/pseuds/betteronpaper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>alicia doesn't like being called love, but amongst introspection and the calm and chaos of an apocalypse, she gets used to it. and elyza? still a sucker for saving a girl in distress.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. i

**Author's Note:**

> i got sucked into this ship god help me. the idea is for a multichap, but, i dont know see where it goes. because im not as grounded in these two as i am in clexa, as in, writing them. still kind of shaky here. so feedback/thoughts would be ace! specifically the no-caps. it was purposeful decision but, if you guys dislike it i can change it. any ideas for plot, any event, any headcanons beyond getting alicia to her family, hit me up, let me know in the comments for consideration. i have some ideas but i'll be writing this, as i write everything, for you guys so. yeah, enjoy! i hope.\
> 
> darlingheda.tumblr.com

_send somebody to me alive_

_send somebody vital_

_send someone not likely to die_

_send someone who’s vital_

_send a fighter_

_/_

_send me a fighter_

_send somebody to me tonight_

_send someone bolder_

_send someone not likely to break_

_send someone who’s older_

 

            there were things that were the same, and things that were different. no longer was there the buzzing, that noise, that hustle of people all going about their day, individual strands of existence that collectively entwined, that made something, something that resembled life and living. or as living was then, was perceived to be. that wasn’t there anymore, and now any run-into of a hustle of people were likely dead, undead, and while they moved and groaned they weren’t alive. she didn’t know what they were, but they weren’t people – not anymore. there was no law anymore either, no enforcers or government or societal rules to abide by. everything was free for all, no structure beyond surviving. no necessary education, no taxes, no bills, no jobs, no society, no bar nights or sport games or anything more. just a wild life in a dead world, of basic nature and keeping at it day by day. but that was kinda like before too. it was just a different wild now, a different keeping at it. still, not everything had changed.

            the sun still shined every morning, casting the dull sky golden, pink and orange and beautiful as it woke, still casted warm rays and light to a world, and it still slept the same, with the moon taking it’s shift, more gentle in its luminance, a caress. there was still that silence, the silence that existed between moments, the quietness in simple existence. there were still those basic human needs to sleep, to eat, to keep clean and to keep going. even to learn, to find out if life meant something. and, if you were like her, the need to feel something, even if just at her own fingers. that was still there. all of that was still there. even the crappiness of human nature, and the beauty of it too.

            it was easy to lose the date and day and time before it all went to hell, and it was even easier now, and arguably no less a hell than life was before.

            her life now was sleeping comfortably and safely, was reading in the quietness of the night after taking care of her guns and knives, was watching old tv and movies, on the occasion, with refrigerated food and charging appliances in solar-powered homes, was eating canned food and enjoying lonesome candlelit nights. it was drawing whenever she felt like it, writing crap poetry and taking whatever she wanted, was smoking in no-smoke zones, though she had quit; and it was going out every morning on her bike and cleaning the streets, playing hero and saving a stray cat maybe. it was her versus the undead world, keeping things clean. she liked being clean, she liked clean things, liked beautiful things. those things that were once people weren’t clean, nor beautiful, so in light of life now she found purpose in terminating them, like vermin. it was living in a lawless land, enjoying the simple things and finding silver linings.

            and on that day, it was risking her ass to save a pretty girl from being chomped by some walkers. yeah, some things don’t change.

 

            “hey love.”

            up close, the pretty girl was beautiful, was the most gorgeous girl she’d ever seen, and maybe that was embellished by the colourless world, but she’s got a good memory and yeah – this girl was a beauty, was something outta this realm. she thought she may have fallen in love just then, or something, because her heart smiled, burst in her chest. there was warmth and life. she recognised all the signs and swore to herself, was pissing. on the outside she was picture perfect of confidence and calm.

            she was crouching in front of the girl, who was half laying on the ground, all hand and arm support to her stance. the girl was wide-green-eyed and parted-mouth, shocked, probably from the close encounter to death, from falling. then the girl eye’s shut, a hiss escaping those plump lips, and a hand went to her head.

            “love?”

            “careful,” she said, fighting a smile at hearing the word, moving closer, removing the pretty girl’s hand and looking at the trickle of blood along the hairline, suddenly internally worried, “seems like you hit your head darling, c’mon, i can patch it up.”

            but the girl swatted her hand away, moved further back, eyes suddenly open and wild, defensive, untrusting.

            “hey, hey you’re okay, you’re okay. I don’t bite,” she said, eyes and voice soft, hands open, in that accent, a light yet low defined huskiness, compassionate and well-meaning, then, more impishly, added, winked, “well, unless you want me to,” and the girl’s eyes widened comically more.

            she had to bite her lip from chuckling.

            “who _are_ you?”

            “someone who just saved your life, sweetie,” she grinned, and the girl stared into sparkling blue eyes, mischievous, somehow light, coupled with golden hair it was like the sun and sky, a warm and inviting thing, and the girl’s head hurt, and things were feeling a little dizzy.

            she held her hand out, and after a moment, one or two or three or maybe five of assessment, of weighing trust, the pretty girl took it, and she helped raise the girl, who swayed a little, to her feet.

            “you’re – ”

            “elyza lex, at your service.”

            “australian.”

            “good to know your hearing is still intact.”

            that earned a glare, a sharp retraction of the girls hand from her hand, leaving a warmth behind, and elyza smiled, amused, delighted by the day and this girl.

            the girl, the outta-this-world girl, had a slight, faint frown on her face, a furrow in her brow, a worried tint in her eyes. those eyes appraised her again, going over her up and down and left and right, looking at the jeans and the boots and the singlet and leather jacket, the knives and the guns on her person and the silver mirror sunnies on her head and probably thought her a daredevil, a stereotypical badass. she hoped, anyway, wanting to look the part of the apocalypse.

            “see something you like gorgeous?”

            she was coy and cocky and secretly, stupidly hopeful. the girl blinked and looked elsewhere, and those eyes widened again, and elyza looked, saw more of those chompers, groaning and moaning and probably starving, the useless things. her instinct was to kill them, but it looked to be a good dozen, probably coming from the gunshots. that wouldn’t stop her, but she had to think of two now.

            “c’mon,” she said, flirtatiousness gone, reaching for the girls hand, “let’s go. i can take you somewhere safe.”

            the girl shifted her hand away again, her eyes more fierce and determined.

            “i have to get back to my family.”

            “okay, we can do that. but it’s getting dark, and your head is bleeding sweetie; this isn’t the best time to go wandering. wherever you walk, they’re going to follow.”

            and the girl looked to be considering, reasoning. another nudge, that should do it.

            “look, love –”

            “ _don’t_ call me that.”

            “you haven’t given me your name, love,” elyza smiled, grinned, enjoying this more than she should, “i saved your life. i can do it again, but i’d rather save ammo when i can. c’mon. live tonight so you can venture tomorrow.”

            “okay,” the girl sighed, head pounding.

            “that’s my girl.”

            “i’m not _your_ girl.”

            elyza laughed as she hopped on her bike, the girl pausing a moment before sliding on behind the blonde at the groans that, while far, were closer, impending.

            “hold on sweetie.”

            the girl closed her eyes at the engine and the beating of her head and she held on for dear life as they sped away, all thoughts jumbled and dumbfounded at the entirety of everything. her ears picked up the occasional chirping of birds and the caress of wind and she smelled the scent of trees and earth, fresher thanks to her time on sea, and her head was dizzy, and her mind was blank, and despite it all she felt safe.

 

            when the girl opened her eyes next, she saw a ceiling, felt the comfort of cushions, and the heat of a fire not far from her. _shit_ , she must have passed out. fingers to her forehead, she felt bandages, felt the wound covered, and she shifted her head to see a fire place a little to her left, and across from her, in a single seat lounge chair, elyza sat, legs laid across an armrest, crossed at the knees, a book in her left hand and a cigarette in her other. it was barely burnt, looked recently lit, and the sunnies and jacket were gone. and her memory was fuzzy, but she was sure the blonde was in a different top, a sweatshirt now, and boots – she was in uggboots now too. elyza was the picture of carefree relaxation, and the girl stared, fighting sleep, unable to form a single, cohesive thought.

            “you gonna say something love, or just enjoy the view?”

            “stop saying love like that. it’s a british thing. you’re not british.”

            despite the weariness of her entire body, the girl was still feeling the remnants of fight or flight.

            “because they have a monopoly on the word,” elyza scoffed, smirked and amused, yet to look up from her book, whatever she was reading, and yet obviously aware of the girls eyes and face. “besides, i think my twang works it.”

            tired and not having the energy for more sass, for protesting a lovely accent, the girl shut her eyes, the word monopoly triggering memories, of a stupid game, a fond moment.

            “you should rest a bit more sweetie.”

            “alicia.”

            elyza looked up, an unseen smile gracing her lips.

            “clark. alicia clark,” the girl sighed, already half asleep, “that’s my name. so you can stop.”

            elyza chuckled, took a drag, blowing smoke, “nice meeting you, alicia.”

 

            “this is a nice place.”

            “yeah, i’ve holed up here the last week or so. usually I stay only a couple of days but this is pretty sweet, huh? secluded, got solar power, got electricity, hot showers. it’s a nice gig. what more could a girl want? well, other than someone to enjoy it with,” elyza grinned, persistent in that easy-going way.

            alicia rolled her eyes and shook her head and fought a smile. the australian was annoying, in that not-actually-annoying way, was endearing. it was morning and her head felt better, and she was glad there wasn’t a need for stitches, though she still felt tired, even if it was the best sleep she had gotten in a while. she woke up to names like beautiful and stunner and that wasn’t the worst thing, was a foreign as the woman in front of her.

            “the shower was nice. thank you.”

            “well i didn’t build the thing,” elyza laughed, easy – it all seemed too easy for her, to alicia. she didn’t know the woman long but, there was this air, of easiness and safety and forgetting everything hadn’t gone to shit, “but you’re welcome love.”

            “no. i mean thank you; for saving me; for helping.”

            elyza’s eyes softened a moment, then twinkled, accompanied by a smile and wink, “couldn’t let a gorgeous girl die on me. us ladies have to look out for each other. besides,” she went on, fixing herself some eggs while alicia went about eating her own, savouring the food and all but pushing aside elyza’s flirtations, those swell-feeling compliments, “if I’m going to fight the world, gotta find things to fight for, right?”

            “fight the world? as in… you’re just going to rid the city of those…”

            “walkers. yeah. one block at a time.”

            “they’re people,” she said, the word wrong, a lie on her tongue.

            “they _were_ people, honey.”

            after that, elyza was silent, for which alicia appreciated. she ate her food and thought of her family, of her mother and brother and travis and chris and ofelia and daniel and even strand. she thought about those on the yacht and those hopefully waiting at the rendezvous point,  she thought about if her brother and mother were alive at all to wait for her, or maybe they thought her dead. she thought about how she nearly died yesterday, running and then tripping, and how those things that looked so much like people were trying to gnaw at her, reach her, eat her, like monsters. she thought all this through eating and through washing the dishes with elyza, the actions domestic and contrastingly calm to the chaos of the world.

            “i have to find my family.”

            “i’ll help you.”

            “you don’t have to.”

elyza washed, and she towel dried them.

            “i want to.”

            “you barely _know_ me.”

            “i wouldn’t mind getting to know you, though. can’t do that with you dead, love.”

            a beat, maybe one or two or three or maybe five.

            “you call everyone love?” the girl deflected, light and avoiding anything deep.

            “just the cute ones.”

            alicia splashed some of the water to elyza, and the australian yelped and laughed. out of everything in this new life, a foreign girl hitting on her wasn’t something alicia ever expected, but life had been full of surprises as of late. and it was different from the melancholy of the yacht and the worrying and the dread that fell over her group.

            “don’t worry. we’ll have you back with your family and be in love by the end of the week, or my name isn’t elyza lex.”

            “i almost think it isn’t.”

            “alicia.”

            the tone, the sincerity, the lack of joking air and charm, caused the brunette to turn to the blonde, who stood facing the sink, but upper body turned to her, golden hair glowing from the window sunlight. so blue and intense were her eyes, alicia had to blink to escape the depths of them.

            “if they’re alive, we’ll find your family, okay? but we’re going to be smart about it.”

            and despite herself, despite not really knowing anything about elyza in turn, she trusted those words, and nodded.

           

            on the way, she did learn about elyza, though. when the woman wasn’t throwing compliments and suggestive words her way, or wasn’t enjoying the silence, she spoke, answered the occasional question alicia threw her. a relative nineteen years of living, elyza was born and raised a good eight years in australia, between adelaide and melbourne, before her parents died and she was in the foster system.

            “no one really wants the older kids, we’re trouble,” elyza said, driving – they took a car out, after going over a map, carefully planning the safest route.

            “eventually i got taken in by a nice british lady. was sworn off coffee,” elyza smiled fondly, happy, and alicia was entranced by the sight, thinking she hadn’t seen a smile like that in a long time. “now i’m all tea and properness.”

            alicia snorted.

            “okay,” elyza chuckled, “maybe not properness. i still got into a bit troubled. maybe more than i was worth, but old nandy was good about it, and she didn’t shun me at all when i told her i liked the ladies. well, the beautiful ones,” she winked across to her.

            fighting a smile, alicia’s cheek pinked, and elyza’s smile grew, then softened, pleased.

            “i remember loving my parents, but memories are few and far between in those eight years i had them. but nandy, she did a lot of hard work. i’ve got novels of stories to tell of her, of home.”

            “do you miss australia?”

            “oh yeah. i only came to america a few months back. was only meant to stay for two or four weeks, wanted to scout some universities for an exchange.”

            “and nandy?”

            “she was a wonderful lady.”

            “was?”

            “she died.”

            “oh.”

            “it’s all right gorgeous.”

 

            hours later, when the day was mostly gone, alicia sat silent in her seat, unmoving and staring into space, lost floating in her own thoughts. elyza sat in the driver’s seat, watching after her. she had lit and scrunched two cigarettes, settling on a lollipop instead, cursing and cussing quietly as she unwrapped it, the difficulty of such a task. elyza’s sweet tooth was something else alicia learned that day.

            “cigarettes _and_ sweets? your teeth are going to rot,” she had said.

            “i’ve quit smoking. and i look after myself. you ain’t never going to meet someone as hygienic as i am, love.”

            “you were smoking just before.”

            “it was for looks. i looked cool, didn’t i?”

            “whatever.”

            three hours clean, elyza was chewing the plastic pipe of the lollipop, lips sweet and sticky, worried despite it all about the girl next to her. she wanted to smoke, she wanted to kiss those lips, one part desire and two parts a need, to do something, to distract, and almost got another sweet sucker from her pocket but fought the impulse.

            they watched the setting of the sun from the hill and though it was dangerous, though it was stupid being out in the dark, elyza let them sit there and not drive all the way home.

            “they’ll be okay,” elyza tried, met with silence, “a week. they said a week and plan b. we left them a note back. hey,” and she gently took turned the girl’s head by chin, and those eyes were lost and sad and elyza’s heart ached, vowed to bring light into this girl’s life, “they’ll be okay, lish. c’mon,” elyza smiled, “it’ll be like a long sleepover. music. booze. some supply runs. exclusive access to badassery yours truly and my lame jokes.”

            that earned a small smile, a burst of sunshine in the night and elyza grinned in success, like a fool, leaned back and started the engine as she reversed from their spot.

            “a week with your girlfriend.”

            “i’m not your girlfriend,” alicia grumbled, though that small smile was still there, a hint of it.

            “she speaks! shock, horror and dismay.”

            “who even says sleepovers anymore anyway.”

            “that’s my sassy girl.”

            “and i’m not your girl!”

            elyza laughed again, not for the first time that day, laughed more that day than had in a long while, and she glanced to the girl who pouted and fought joy like a typical late adolescent but had a smile of gold, but was beautiful and so she could get away with it, and elyza fought the signs.

            “stick with me love, i’ll show you the ropes.”

            “sure,  _mate_.”

            “that was awful. don't do that again.”

            “got that smirk off your face.”

            “note: work on twang plus survival skills.”

            "fuck off," alicia smiled, and elyza grinned.

             all things considered, the apocalypse wasn’t the worst thing. it may have been the best thing to happen to her, really.

 

_send a soldier_

_tonight is all you got to go with me_

_there’s no more everyday_

_tonight is all, today is over_

_there’s no more everyday_

_/_

_send a soldier_

_someone who’ll get it_

_that’s all_

_someone who’ll get it_

_that’s all_

_/_

_send somebody out of his mind_

_send a god damn leader_

_send someone not psycho polite_

_send some god damn freedom_

_send someone breathing_


	2. ii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> first night of normalcy for alicia, relaxing a bit with elyza and for now things are looking peachy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i wanted this chapter to end more excitingly/action-packed (not smut aha) but it ended up just being a night cap and just settling in some peace for these too before they start... well, going them vs the world. these characters still feel so new to me, so as they're getting comfortable, if not forcibly so, and getting to know each other a little more above the back and forth, and feeling each other out i'm getting to know about them too. it's all very going with the flow. honestly it doesn't feel like much and it probably isn't, i'm still kinda iffy about it and unsure! but there's little things to gleam, so i hope you enjoy this one.
> 
> darlingheda.tumblr.com

_i’ll smile, i know what it takes to fool this town_

_i’ll do it ‘till the sun goes down_

_and all through the night time_

_oh yeah, i’ll tell you what you want to hear_

_keep my sunglasses on while i shed a tear_

_it’s never the right time, yeah, yeah_

_/_

_i’ll put my armor on, show you how strong i am_

_i’ll put my armour on, i’ll show you that i am_

_/_

_i’m unstoppable_

_i’m a porsche with no brakes_

_i’m invincible_

_yeah i’ll win every single game_

 

that night, alicia cooked dinner. elyza was only good for breakfast, it turned out, for bacon and eggs and sausages. the blonde wasn’t much in the kitchen, and alicia jumped at the opportunity to do something. life was all over the place right now, but cooking? alicia could do cooking. nothing too fancy, but she knew some tricks, and to her pleasant surprise she had a bit to work with in the house elyza had been hiding in for weeks. though, she recalled, the australian had other houses too.

            “gotta have a few spots around. it’s safer that way, so anyone watching doesn’t find me here. you have to be careful, so we’re probably going to stay over somewhere else in a day or so,” she had said.

            the idea that there were others, other people, that scouted and watched to kill or steal – those thoughts frightened alicia. it didn’t surprise her, but still made her uneasy, and it gave her all the more reason to cook and do something with her hands and mind. she took comfort in that this house wasn’t the easiest to spot or sneak up on, that elyza assured her she would be safe, promised her. she was placing a lot of trust in this stranger, or not stranger, not so much anymore. but what choice did she have, really?

            when she woke up that morning, fire gone, head better, patched, and elyza nowhere to be seen, she had thought to run for it; to disappear and find her family, maybe steal a weapon if she came across one. but she wasn’t stupid. she didn’t know where she was, how to find her way back, and she figured elyza wouldn’t kill her. why save someone and help them to murder them later, after all, unless the girl was some psycho killer, in which she was probably screwed. so yeah, there was already some necessity of trust involved.

            and at the end of the day, or rather, the beginning of that morning, alicia felt safe. despite it all, she did. from the moment she slid behind elyza on the woman’s bike, hands around leather jack, she did. and that lasted, til waking, through the day, to then at night. she felt safe enough, and more than that she felt, weirdly, normal. what it was, she wasn’t sure, but you get vibes and feelings for no sound reason and go with it, trust your gut, because it’s so rarely wrong. at least, it’s never wronged her.

            maybe it was the smell of breakfast, elyza saying to ‘go have a shower beautiful, there’s hot water’ and that she could charge her phone, was asked how she slept, and that she slept well, was greeted with carefree-yet-caring eyes and that damn easy, often cocky, smile, like it was something done all before. it could have been all of that, that helped, that provided the illusion of normality.

            which might not count for too much, because she almost didn’t know what normal was anymore, but this felt almost close.

            she was glad she didn’t run. and elyza might have been a stranger then, but she knew enough about her now, knew enough that she could have added the girl on facebook and chatted even. alicia smiled, rolled her eyes, thinking of it, imagining it: elyza talking to her first, all flirt and charm and genuine curiosity and alicia would have debated whether to answer at all, but cave in, smiling a small smile, and the banter would still be the same, and that comforted her. that, for some reason, she believed they’d still be the same if they met before the world turned. some part of her wondered if they did. she remembered asking elyza, feeling unsure about it, a simple:

            “have we met before?”

            and elyza looking over to her, a pause, perhaps an affirmative, but then, with that easy smile and light eyes that still carried intelligence and hidden intensity, like she knew a secret no one else knew, like she had it all figured out, all too easy, she had replied, “sorry, stunner, i would’ve remembered you.”

            so, maybe not in this life.

            she didn’t know much about reincarnation, but there’s that occasional feeling of familiarity, because things felt too easy, despite everything. or maybe elyza has that effect on everyone. she wondered if elyza got the feeling too.

            “what’s cooking, love?”

            disrupted from her musing, alicia looked up to find elyza sitting across the kitchen counter, looking freshly showered, hands clasped, leant forward – eager. the girl couldn’t blame her, guessing it’s probably the first non-microwaved food she’s had in a while for dinner, aside from bacon and eggs and sausage. that damn endearment, though. that still annoyed alicia, settled too easily, and it had only been a day. she kinda hated it, kinda didn’t. it was like everything with elyza lex.

            “pasta. bolognaise. it’s easy.”

            “i guess. maybe if i picked up a cook book.”

            “you were reading last night,” alicia retorted.

            “well, yeah,” and elyza was a little surprised alicia remembered the detail, “i like a good book. but of the literature variety. cook books are boring.”

            fighting a snort, a smirk, alicia’s eyebrows rose, “not seeming so badass now.”

            “i’ll have you know im _all_ the b’s love,” elyza defended, faux offended, “blonde, beauty, brains, brawn, boss, badass, bitch – and those last two are separate, by the way. oh, shit,” the realisation one part sad and two parts indignant, in that ‘damn, missed it’ way, “i could’ve had bi in there too if i was into dudes.”

            “i’m _sure_ they’re disappointed.”

            “don’t you know it, babe,” elyza beamed, ignoring the sarcasm, “guess i’ll just settle for breasts.”

            “as opposed to boobs.”

            “what are you, twelve?”

            “what are you, a nit-picker?”

            “excuse me.”

            “you’re excused,” alicia smiled, face down and focused on the task.

            “hey,” it came off slightly harsh, for show, but eliza was chuckling, “that’s a good one.”

            “that’s not how this works.”

            because you’re meant to counter the snark, to swing the ball back, not let it drop.

            “oh yeah?” and the tone, the husk and the shift of voice caused alicia to look up, greeted with that damn smirk and eyes playful yet inviting, “maybe you can show me?”

            longer than she should, she paused, kept eye contact longer, looked the blonde up and down glancing at the arms and the hair and that broken infinity tattoo on the collarbone, not daring to look lower, feeling the blush before it happened and her heart beat loud in her ears because it was all too hot, with the pasta steam, before she scoffed lightly, shook her head, the dizziness, and kept at the cooking, the making. she could do that, no worries.

            “in your dreams.”

            “with your permission, love,” and elyza grinned, was sliding off the stool and heading to disappear back to the living room, “i’ma laze.”

            and later as alicia neared finishing the sauce, she realised she had forgotten that the world ended for a moment. and that was probably dangerous, but it felt good.

 

            “are you seriously playing on a nintendo right now?”

            “mario kart doesn’t stop for the apocalypse lo – oh no. nope, nope. come on – shite. fuck. fuck. damn you peach! fuck. you’re meant to be my girl! god dammit.”

            alicia watched it happen, from elyza lazing carelessly on the couch, suddenly sitting up and cursing more than she’s ever heard from the woman, the frown on her face, scowling, to her tossing the ds aside. she watched it all one part amused, filled with sudden warmth, and two parts baffled at the whole thing; because out there she was sure the world was ending, had ended, but here was a woman that made it seem all natural still, made it look that just because the world ended didn’t mean her life had to.

            “fucking blueshell,” the blonde muttered, and alicia didn’t fight a smile then.

            “i always played peach.”

            the words were immediately regretted as elyza looked up to her, full grin on display, cocksure and cheerful.

            “oh yeah, princess?”

            another nickname, alicia thought, rolled her eyes and nodded to the kitchen. _peachy._

 

            dinner was a surprisingly quiet and, for alicia, almost uncomfortable affair. they ate in the lounge, on opposite ends of the couch, the fire place alight and alive, and despite the comfort of atmosphere alicia was put off by elyza’s sudden silence, was conflicted, caught off guard by the change of demeanour but grateful still for the easiness of the quiet.  the blonde ate her meal slowly, slower than expected, wasn’t smirks or winks or endearments. she ate, scooped up all remaining the sauce she could, using bread to soak it up, and only when she was done she looked to alicia, who almost blushed, caught watching, and smiled one of the few fully sincere smiles she’d seen from the woman.

            “this was really good.”

            “thanks.”

            “nandy used to cook the dish,” elyza went on, suddenly looking nervous, looking away and a hand was to the back of her neck, “this, huh, reminded me of hers. so,” she glanced back, nodded, “thanks.”

            alicia smiled, shrugged, because it wasn’t intentional,  but she realised somehow this small thing turned into something meaningful, so she said, “you’re welcome.”

            elyza’s smile grew, changed to that easy grin, and alicia knew the layers were back up.

            “an all-around knockout, aren’t you love?”

            “you’re never going to stop with the compliments, are you?”

            “a girl like you deserves compliments,” the blonde said, “and how else am i going to woo you?”

            “woo,” alicia spoke the word aloud, smiling and shaking her head and finishing her own dinner.

            “see, it’s working.”

            “it’s not. it’s just a funny word. no one woos anymore.”

            “they do. when they come across gals as fetchingly handsome and breathtaking as you, they do.”

            “oh my god, and who says _handsome_ to a girl?” alicia laughed, forced it short and shook her head more and blatantly ignored the feelings these compliments stirred, because she couldn’t ever recall a time she was described as such things, such large words as breathtaking, certainly not handsome, and the easiness of it all, like such things were natural, were as factual as gravity. she couldn’t recall such things at all. it was stuff you saw in movies, those romances, those lines. not reality. and she had her fair share of those words all day, and that effected the girl.

            so she shook her head and hid a smile and didn’t linger on the moment, the warmth and the normality and elyza chuckled in turn, delighted at the girl, the blush and was proud to know that was hers, that the laughter was hers, was all her doing, and she was stupidly hopeful, that she had to remind herself to not get attached. she knew she already was though, knew it in her soul, in her dreams.

            “well, i do,” elyza said, honestly a little bashful, “i get it from the books and old nandy.”

            “handsome,” the girl muttered, amused still.

            “how about good-looking? dazzling?”

            “you just look like a badass,” the girl deterred, cheeks tinged pink and not wanting to get deep again, fearful of it.

            “dove we’ll find ourselves some walkers tomorrow, and i’ll show you the thug life.”

            “will you show me how to use a gun?”

            and the question was serious and curious, lacking any enthusiasm, causing elyza’s smirk to wane, cause her to nod and speak with care.

            “yeah, love. we’re not going anywhere until you can protect yourself.”

            “i can protect myself,” the girl defended.

            “sure you can, you had a bat before right?”

            “i’m a good swing.”

            “i bet,” elyza twitched a grin, “but,” she breathed, exhaled, “until we get a hold of one, you’ll need alternatives.”

            alicia nodded, quiet and contemplative. she never thought of learning to wield a gun. having never liked them, the sound they made, loud and echoing and chaotic, it wasn’t a want, but now there was a need. she couldn’t afford not to know how to shoot, how to aim and destroy, not really. but that was tomorrow. and maybe she’ll never have to use it on someone, undead or alive, not with elyza to pull the trigger for her.

            “i bet you listen to taylor swift,” alicia uttered, breaking the silence, and wanting that easiness, and wasn’t disappointed.

            “so what if i do? she’s talented and aint bad to look at. don’t stereotype me,” elyza admonished playfully, waving her fork.

            alicia quirked a smile, finishing the last of her meal, before the thought, unbidden, came to her that the singer was probably never going to be touring again, her and others, that movies won’t be made, and art was all but gone, and it made her think of matt, who would never create art again. two months since it went down. she hadn’t thought of him in weeks. and what was the point? the living are all but gone, and the dead are hungry.

            “i’ll do dishes,” elyza offered, quiet, moving to stand.

            well, not all the living. there’s elyza, after all.

            “i’ll help.”

            “it’s okay, you cooked, i’ll clean,” elyza smiled, honest, and after a beat alicia handed her bowl over. “relax. you’re thinking too much.”

 

            there wasn’t much else to do but  think, these days, since her phone had died out, until charged that morning. and as elyza left her to not-think, she found she didn’t like being alone, in that time; found herself worried at the dark corners of the room and the unknown, the shadows threatening. there was a sudden silence and loneliness that loomed and it was uncomfortable, made her anxious. earphones in her ears, she played music to block out the world, but it somehow made everything, the silence and eeriness louder, and she sat eyes open and staring around, heartbeat in her ears and felt like a girl in a horror movie waiting to be murdered, suddenly. so a minute passed, maybe one or two braving this quiet fear before alicia left abruptly, pulling her music away and went into the kitchen, nonchalant and thankful for the normality of elyza washing the dishes.

            “you haven’t asked me.”

            “asked you what, love?”

            elyza didn’t turn, kept scrubbing, washing, drying. alicia stood a moment watching before she went to help, the blonde non-objecting, just handed the plates to dry, and that was enough.

            “what i was doing, out there. before you saved me.”

            “i figured you were out there doing what everyone else is doing out there.”

            “what is everyone doing?”

            “same thing we’ve always have,” she said, voice sombre, “surviving…” and elyza paused, looked out the window into the darkness of the night, a slight furrow in her brow, a melancholy look in her eyes that alicia didn’t want to dwell on, didn’t like seeing, didn’t like feeling herself, a sadness, wanted the lightness back, and thankfully it faded when the blonde turned look at the girl, “why? something i should know?”

            alicia shook her head, her gaze downcast. “no, no…no.”

            “seems like something.”

            “my brother is an addict,” alicia admitted, looked elsewhere and elyza’s head rose a fraction, eyes knowing, “drugs. heroine. he…we’re trying to get him off slowly with pills. oxy. we were getting other supplies too but i… well i took a risk.”

            “you gotta be careful with those, these days,” elyza said, softly, eyes understanding.

            “risks or drugs?”

            “both.”

            “you smoke.”

            “i’m not addicted. and i told you i quit,” elyza huffed, blew hair out of her face, “kinda. i just… gotta do something with my mouth and hands sometimes.”

            random and foreign, a flirty, innuendo of a reply filtered through alicia’s head; so sudden and unexpected, she blinked the thought and images away, though the flush of heat remained. adolescent hormones, she faulted them.

            “yeah, i get that.”

            “we’ll get you back to your family, you know that?”

            “yeah…yeah i know,” alicia nodded, voice quiet, thinking of the days and time and the walkers and the land and sea and chance that separated her from all that she really knew anymore, and that she wouldn’t be alone throughout it all, how that made everything seem okay, how elyza made it easy, “you said so in the car ride back.”

            “a week and plan b,” elyza nodded, smiled, was about to turn to continue the washing until she felt a lump of a person on her, brown hair and earthy smell of shampoo in her face, arms around her neck, warm and comforting.

            elyza was almost knocked back by the un-expectancy of it, and had a moment of shock and blinking away the surprise of it before she returned the embrace, arms around waist and back. her heart was thrumming in her chest and ears and she was struck by the realisation of how long it was she’d hadn’t had a hug, thought she’d never hug someone again, maybe was too out of civilisation, too dead-set on braving this new world alone; going, going and going, come hell or high water riding the city, the land, wherever she could of walkers. for all her silver-linings elyza didn’t place too much hope in the good of humanity coming out intact at the end of this, if this thing, this virus and plague ever ended. this, though, this human contact and comfort, sparked hope. and she was glad that some things didn’t change, that she was a sucker for pretty girls in distress, was even weaker for this one, this specific girl. so she hugged back, all warmth, words caught in throat, enjoying every second to her core and soul and wouldn’t mind hugging this girl, this outta-this-world girl, again, content for it to be nothing more, if she could keep getting hugs like this. all that was to fight for, right there in her arms.

            “thank you,” alycia said, words muffled by hair, but heard and felt none the less.

            “you’re welcome, love,” the blonde murmured, almost perplexed.

            alicia squeezed a little, a moment more, breathing in the lingering smell of leather and air and sweets, too taking in the comfort of the embrace, overwhelmed with gratitude, before pulling away and lips upturned a small smile, eyes soft, grateful, grateful, grateful and feeling, compassionate. elyza shared the expression with a tinge of wonderment until alicia looked away, shortly, because elyza was all compliments and endearments and flirt but there was something real and admirable in her words and in her face, her eyes, and alicia didn’t want to read into it.

 

            elyza’s smile widened a moment, left it at that and they finished the mind-numbing routine of cleaning in comfortable silence, and as she was drying her own hands alicia watched as the blonde looked around the kitchen, seemingly checking if all was put away, in order, was clean. there was an assessing eye, a worried lip, but elyza looked around and was satisfied, or so the girl assumed due to the flash of a smile her way.

            “so what do you wanna do? watch a movie, dance to music, get drunk? a game?”

            “you really have all that?” alicia asked, bemused, but secretly awed.

            the last time she did anything fun and young was when she was breaking plates and smashing things in a rich house, in a rich neighbourhood, wearing a rich dress. she remembered trying all fancy attire on and wondered if she’d ever feel that beautiful again. more than that, she wondered if elyza wore dresses, and she wondered if elyza had done such chaotic things as smashing strangers plates.

            “yeah.”

            “i don’t know… those things all sound normal and…” she shrugged, as if that explained the sudden aching in her chest, heavy, a weight, “i haven’t had that in a while.”

            elyza smiled that small smile, that caring smile, still easy, more. “how about a movie?”

            “yeah… yeah that sounds good.”

 

            they were huddled on the couch, shoulder to shoulder, warm, alive, the laptop shared between them, earphones each in one ear. alicia had pondered about the tv but eliza didn’t want the noise, afraid it would draw attention even if she had closed the blinds to the windows. alicia didn’t question it, just sat down and waited for the movie of elyza’s choosing, all of which she had on a drive. she expected action, stereotyping the blonde again, saw the titles on the drive, but the movie chosen was that space movie she’d been told to see, but didn’t, with that mathew actor guy and anne hathaway. _interstellar_. she didn’t know what to expect, honestly didn’t care, just wanted her mind off of things, wanted escape; wanted this normalcy; and by the end of it, she was tired, drowsy, head resting on elyza’s shoulder, strong, comfortable.

            “that was sad,” she mumbled, eyes slowly blinking, so ready to fall asleep, the warmth of elyza and the fire invoking slumber.

            “yeah…a little bit. parts. good though right?”

            “yeah.”

            “i’m always inspired by it. that never giving up. getting back to the people you love, even when time is against you. kinda like what we’re doing huh princess,” elyza nudged her a little, and alicia hummed, too drained to react to the nickname.

            to think, before all this, alicia wanted nothing more than to be away from her family. she wondered, absentmindedly, tired, non-focused, if that want is still there, a thought that would have to be examined later, if she remembered it at all.

            “yeah.”

            elyza smiled at the yawn, the sleepiness pulling the girl away. she understood. there’s a relief in sleeping; when you’re sleeping, you’re not sad, angry or lonely. you feel nothing. she had read that, somewhere. she just wanted to light a cigarette, herself. maybe after the girl sleeps, after she amuses her.

            “not a bad first date.”

            “not a date,” alicia muttered, unsurprised by the comment, almost expecting it since it was a good while of hours since elyza tried her charm.

            “dinner and a movie, sounds like a date.”

            she would have rolled her eyes, weren’t they already closed, weren’t she falling into the abyss of slumber, “a date requires romantic intentions.”

            “well check, love. i’m wooing you, remember.”

            “woo,” alicia huffed an air of laughter, of a chuckle, quiet, shoved herself off of elyza’s shoulder, to lay her against a pillow by the armrest, legs tucked in, as the blonde grinned at the action, “you’re so frustrating.”

            “yeah?”

            but the girl didn’t answer, and elyza knew alicia was asleep. 

 

_i’m so powerful_

_i don’t need batteries to play_

_i’m so confident_

_i’m unstoppable today_

_unstoppable today_

_i’m unstoppable today_

_/_

_i break down, only alone i will cry out loud_

_you’ll never see what’s hiding out_

_hiding out deep down, yeah, yeah_

_i know i’ve heard that to let your feelings show_

_is the only way to make friendships grow_

_but i’m too afraid now, yeah, yeah_


End file.
